A Lady's Prerogative
by Netrixie
Summary: A lady’s prerogative is a woman’s ability to, at a certain time of month, get a male to do anything for her. Even lay off fighting with their avowed enemy. Drarry pre-slash if you squint. HGRW, GWMC, humorous crack.


**Disclaimer: **Everything belongs to J.K. Rowling. I merely like to have fun with her characters.

**Beta: ManhattanWitch**

**Authours Note: **So yeah. I shall make no apologies for this fic- it is a one off, no sequel, random little I-felt-like-writing-it-ficcy. But please, enjoy.

**Title: A Lady's Prerogative**

**Summary: **A lady's prerogative is a woman's ability to, at a certain time of month, get a male to do anything for her. Even lay off fighting with their avowed enemy. Drarry pre-slash if you squint. HGRW, GWMC, humorous crack.

**Dedicated to Amber Athame`. Just because of general awesomeness. **

* * *

Hermione glared at Harry, her brown eyes glinting with something that had the Boy-Who-Lived scurrying to do her command.

There were very few people in this world who could make Harry blanch in that particular way, and Hermione relished that thought even as the other male Gryffindor's warily stepped out of her way. Her goal was the couch that Harry had just cleared off for her, and what she wanted was nothing more than a few uninterrupted hours of peace.

Plain and simple _peace_. Something that was foreign to Gryffindor House, as a whole. But for right now, Hermione's wish was to come true- too many people in this house knew the damage that the studious girl's wand could inflict.

And when Hermione Jane Granger had cramps, no one got in her way.

Ginny dropped next to Hermione with a bone-deep sigh, as weary of males as her friend was. The two shared a commiserating look, but there was nothing to do about it. Though Hermione had taken her (illegal) ibuprofen (Muggle drugs not being allowed in Hogwarts at all) it had not yet worked, nor had Ginny's Pain-Relieving Potion from Madame Pomphrey.

And that was something Hermione wondered about some days. Why _did_ it take so long for Magical medication to take effect? Surely it took as much time as Muggle meds… and yet Witches and Wizards, on the whole, preferred the Magical remedy. Though Muggle one's worked just as well.

Ginny held up her hand- and Hermione's eyes opened wide with delight at the sight of Chocolate Frogs.

"I'm sharing, don't worry," Ginny said before Hermione could even voice the question, and handed a bunch to her friend even as she said so. "I stole them from Ron earlier- and even he wasn't dumb enough to put up a fight once he realized why I wanted them."

Hermione _harrumphed _at the mention of her block-head boyfriend, and scowled at the red head who had wandered over at the sound of his name. Ron hastily backed up as he caught sight of the glare heading his way, and Harry grabbed his arm and pulled him up the stairs to the dormitory before Hermione beheaded him, or something.

Hermione chuckled and Ginny joined in, the sight of the normally fearless Golden Boy and his ever loyal companion backing down from their female friends and siblings too much to bear. But the laugh died away as a sharp pain lanced through Hermione's midsection, and she bit her lip to keep from crying out.

Sighing once the burst of pain was gone, Hermione reached into her bag and pulled out a well- thumbed book, looking around furtively before opening it and beginning to read _Tails of Love_. Ginny chuckled, but pulled out her own comfort book- _Home Life and Social Habits of British Muggles _by Wilhelm Wigworthy. She only read it when she was cramping, because the staid writing and the outlandish assumptions about Muggles could take her brain off of how much her cramps hurt. Otherwise, it was just one more stupid book by a male who couldn't tell his ass from his nose.

* * *

Pansy smiled at Draco, a smile as chilling as the Arctic Circle and far more dangerous. The blond Slytherin smiled charmingly back, even as an icy hand crawled up his spine and sent shivers throughout his body.

"Draco _darling_," Pansy purred, latching onto her friend's arm and staring up at him with wide, guileless eyes. "I know you have it." Her pale blue eyes glinted with malice, and Draco swallowed abruptly. "And I know you would _never_ leave me to find it _for myself_." There was no mistaking the warning behind her -somewhat- pleasant words.

"Of course, Pansy," he said soothingly, patting her arm and hoping like fury that he still had the chocolates his mother had sent him last week, "You know I would do anything to make you more… comfortable…" he trailed off, and managed to gracefully pull out of her grasp without making it look like he was trying to escape. "I will be right back, of course. Do let me go and get them for you."

He felt Pansy's eyes on his back as he fled up the stairs, wondering how long it took to place an owl order for more chocolate. Blaise looked up, surprised, as Draco slammed the door to their room, and leaned back against it biting his lip. The Prince of Slytherin never_,_ but _never_, looked so out of sorts, and a suspicious feeling began to overcome the Italian.

"What's wrong with you, Draco?" the dark-eyed boy asked, and watched as the blond began to feverishly sift through his belongings.

"You are a fool if you cannot correctly count the days on a calendar, Zabini," Draco answered absently, digging through his trunk rapidly. "I hope to Salazar that you still have a peace offering for Pansy."

Draco turned around, triumphant, a box of expensive chocolates tucked under one arm. "I think I've bought you a couple hours with this, Blaise, but if I were you I would really rather _not_ come downstairs empty-handed."

With that said the blond headed back downstairs, and Blaise began to root through his things uselessly- he knew he didn't have any chocolate of any sort in his belongings. He didn't really eat candy at all- how could he have forgotten? The last thing he wanted to do was piss off the Ice Queen herself. With a curse, Blaise wondered how on earth he was going to placate Pansy with no candy.

Crabbe and Goyle wandered into the room, and an idea formed in the Italian's head immediately.

"Alright boys," he began, moving over and clasping both of them on their massive shoulders, "here's what you're going to do…"

* * *

Harry walked next to Hermione, looking like he'd rather be anywhere but where he was at the moment, and kept his head down. The muggleborn girl walked through the crowd as though it wasn't even there, glaring murderously at those- male or female- who dared to block her way. Harry and Ron struggled to catch up, flinching away from any female who came too close to them.

Ginny- walking slightly behind the other three- kept laughing as she saw how brow-beaten the boys actually were, tripping over themselves to obey Hermione's every whim. Michael Corner, her own boyfriend, was following her, holding onto her books and ready to give her whatever she wanted.

She looked over her shoulder and glared at him- he, being the smart boy that he was- immediately dug in his pocket and produced a Chocolate Frog, handing it to her subserviently. She _humph'ed_- it really was a shame that he knew her well enough by now to anticipate her wants. Ginny settled for snatching the candy from his hand and turning away, slamming into her brothers back, unaware that he had stopped.

Ron's already pale face whitened even further as he saw his sister's murderous eyes drilling into him, and stepped out of her way.

At once, Ginny saw the problem.

* * *

Harry really, _really_, wasn't in the mood for this right now.

The hallway had narrowed- as it always did in this section of Hogwarts but dammit he'd forgotten _again_- and no one had mentioned that there were Slytherin's heading towards them, going to wherever Slytherin's went when they weren't in class.

And now he was facing Malfoy and Crabbe and Goyle and Zabini and the girl… Parkinson… and the entire hallway was holding it's breath, eager to see one of the infamous Potter-Malfoy fights.

He could feel Hermione's eyes burning a hole in the back of his head with her disapproval, and dammit he had just gotten her to be nice to him again and now Malfoy was going to ruin the _whole thing_.

Seamus- the only person in Gryffindor who actually didn't care that Hermione was on the warpath at the moment- pushed Harry into the little clearing between the factions. Malfoy's face twisted up into a sneer and he stepped forward to meet Harry, wand trailing languidly from his hand.

Harry glanced over his shoulder at the only female in the whole world who could tell him what to do and get away with it, and clearly read _'Do it and you're dead'_ in her gaze.

Shit.

Harry edged closer to Malfoy, wand still firmly in his pocket, and went _psst_ at the blond. The Slytherin's eyebrow raised, and Harry _psst_ again, more urgently, begging the Slytherin to come closer to him.

Malfoy deliberated for a few seconds, but in the end he gave in to the Gryffindor's request.

* * *

"What to you want, Potter?" Draco asked archly, hiding his gulp as Pansy's glare scorched him from where she watched. Damn Potter, he was going to ruin everything Draco had done to mellow the girl out! This time of month, Pansy wanted all of the attention on _her,_ not on what was turning out to be the weirdest fight he'd ever had with Potter.

Potter looked around, making sure no one was close enough to over hear, and turned his eyes back on Draco. "Listen, Malfoy," he began, shifting nervously, "normally, you know, I'd be more than ready to… well… have a go at you… but yeah… not today…"

Potter trailed off as Draco's eyebrows rose even higher, and sighed, seeming to resign himself to a fight after all. Or, Draco thought, ridicule for what he had just said. And, well, it _was_ perfectly good material for humiliation, but Draco was having the same problem, and was almost grateful to Potter for the out.

"Are you saying that you'd _actually _rather _not_ fight?" Draco drawled, but his voice was as low as Potter's and no one could hear him.

"Um, yeah actually that _is _what I'm trying to say." Potter glanced up, his green eyes worried, and bit his lip. "You don't mind?"

Draco snorted softly. "Potter, this once I will forgive you for _not_ fighting with me." His eyes gleamed as an idea popped into his head. "But I'm afraid the next time we do happen to cross paths, we shall have to outdo everything previous."

Potter let out a breath of relief, and nodded once. "Alright, then. Say about… two days?"

Draco checked the urge to look over his shoulder at Pansy, but something told him that Potter had seen the flinch. "I would say, perhaps, four."

The Gryffindor nodded, and Draco watched as his eyes slid past Draco to somewhere behind him. "Yeah sounds good to me."

With a nod, they looked up and backed away from each other, and Draco was pretty sure he wasn't supposed to hear Potter say, "freakin' females" as he went back to his people.

But Pansy's arm was once again wrapped around his waist, and her icy eyes glinted up at him with what might- charitably- be called approval. "I trust that you will never be tempted to fight with Potter ever again when I am… _indisposed_?"

Draco swallowed, and shook his head obediently. "Good boy," Pansy purred, and looped her other arm around Blaise's waist, ignoring his almost-flinch. "Come on then. We're almost late."

* * *

Harry walked warily back to Hermione, and looked up in shock as the brunette flung herself into his arms. "Oh, Harry!" she sobbed, and he glanced down at her warily as he patted her head self-consciously, "You actually walked away from a fight! With Malfoy!"

Harry cleared his throat, and said, "Well, yeah. Knew you didn't want me to… didn't want you getting upset with me…" he trailed off as Hermione looked up at him, and flinched when she kissed his cheek.

"Aw, you do care!" she trilled happily, and grabbed Harry's hand as she began to walk down the hallway once more, ignoring the confused and indignant students that were lamenting the fight that had not taken place.

Harry decided that it was probably for the best that he _not_ tell her that he and Malfoy had scheduled a make up fight for a few days from now… her mood swings were quite scary enough without deliberately provoking one.

* * *

Ginny chuckled malevolently at the frightened _'help me'_ look Harry probably didn't even realize he was giving everyone, and followed along behind the crowd. But her thoughts went back to the tense conversation the two boys had had, and she frowned as she wondered what they had said.

But there had been no fight- much as Ginny, herself, would have enjoyed seeing one in her present mindset- and no detentions or points taken off, so she supposed she could learn to live with her disappointment.

Besides, and she chuckled wickedly, whenever Harry and Malfoy had a break between their fights, the next one always more than made up for it.

She pondered that fact as she walked along the hall, Michael skittishly following her, wondering vaguely if it was cheating to take bets on the next fight before it had even happened.

* * *

END


End file.
